Leaving therapy spaces that no longer serve me.
Lately, I’ve been feeling a growing disconnect from the broader "therapy community" online & often in person. The circles I used to find supportive now feel misaligned with my values. Here is why I am stepping back from those spaces and redefining what types of circles I want to surround myself with.
Getting Paid For Our Work
There is a trend in some therapeutic spaces that conflates deep relational connection and systemic awareness with an obligation to work for free or at below-cost rates. Sometimes, this manifests as a subtle form of white saviorism, the idea that by being endlessly available or financially porous, we are ‘saving’ our clients from the harms of capitalism. I see this most clearly around payment structures. I firmly believe every single person deserves access to mental health care. But I also believe therapists must be paid fairly for their labor. Compassion does not require self-betrayal, and we know that self-betrayal inevitably leads to resentment, and ultimately, to burnout. There are many creative ways we can structure our business that allow us to offer financially more accessible care, while ensuring we’re also paying for our bills.
I’m Not Here for Traditional Professionalism
I’ve always felt like my lack of traditional ‘professionalism’ marks me as an outsider. My goal is for therapy to offer an authentic and creative space that is deeply human. But I refuse to achieve that by denying my own human experience. It strikes me as strange that basic self-care, like drinking water, taking a break to eat, or going to the bathroom, is viewed as a disruption or a sign of unprofessionalism. We cannot offer presence if we are pretending not to be alive. Trauma work is learning to be with your body, modeling that feels in alignment to me.
Rejecting Cruelty Online
I have no interest in engaging in social media spaces that thrive on cruelty. A past version of me learned that cruelty was how I advocate! Oh, how I was sooo wrong. Healing cannot happen in an environment of fear and judgment. I choose to step away from spaces that prioritize shaming vs finding ways of being with, truly showing up for difference and conflict, and trusting each other.
Marketing Is Not Evil
There’s a lot of stigma around marketing. Many therapists feel guilty for promoting their practice, fearing it makes them seem "salesy" or superficial. Marketing is simply how you tell people you exist. There are ways to market that are authentic, helpful, and non-manipulative. Sharing your expertise, normalizing mental health struggles, and helping people find the right provider is a business practice that is okay. I’m always fascinated when we’re angry at each other, but like 5 men own our country. That is so wild to me!
Business Growth Is Not Always "Girl Boss" Energy
Growing a private practice is often dismissed as "girl boss" territory, capitalistic, greedy, out of touch. Building a sustainable business allows me to control my caseload, set fair wages, offer accessible options, and avoid the systemic pressures of agency work that contribute to burnout. I don’t believe ethical capitalism exists, but building a practice that is thriving doesn’t inherently make anyone greedy or girl bossy. It just simply means we’re trying to survive in a deeply broken system.
If you’re a therapist seeking space that feels in alignment, check out The Spiral Collective. A space for healers and therapists to connect, self-promote, cross-promote, have monthly business meetings, and co-work.
