Grieving and running a tiny business. For all the hearts who are being incredibly human and brave <3:
Being human is particularly vulnerable, but being a small business owner can feel like you're suddenly dropping the ball on everything, especially when that grief catches you off guard.
Heather Bax, owner and operator of Small Business Rodeo, and I recently podcasted about grieving parental loss and entrepreneurship.
I love owning my own business, and yet, when the world gets heavy, or shit in my personal life is unsteady, I find that my business can also get a little bit unsteady. My administrative self just goes far away from me, and I couldn't tell you what day it is. My nervous system is working extra hard to leave survival mode, and the grief falls out of me randomly. Like when you're at the gym, totally seeming out of nowhere. Or, right before a session. Or holding your tears back in a session (ugh, that is the worst)!
We are human and yet, as healers, when we are grieving, we hold many different truths, but particularly:
- making enough money to live (finding the balance of taking time off and making sure you can eat)
- not oversharing or undersharing
- being authentic but making sure you're not taking up too much space
- not having anyone to pick up the sessions or administrative duties
- and the list goes on…
Sometimes, when we talk about being a small business owner, we can forget to talk about the very real things that suck. Like not having anyone who can sit in a session for us that day, or not having anyone who can do your notes… Cruel little devil things!
Grieving is the most natural and human thing we do, and yet, the expectations for healers and therapists sometimes do not take this experience into account. Of course we can feel like we’re dropping the ball, because the reality is, we probably are, but no more than any human would do when their hearts are also broken.
And yet, we aren't alone in finding our way through life with a broken heart or empty wallets.
When your heart is broken, and you’re feeling like you’re failing or dropping the ball in your work life, try these things.
Care less. Truly. If this were your client, you would be sooo compassionate and understanding. You might even cry empathy tears with them! Be gentler on yourself, and trust we all have waves of grief. Not to be grim, but like the only certainty in this life is we eventually die (though the grief I’m speaking to can be any type of loss, trauma work, or change).
Ask your friends to make you dinner. Sometimes the executive functioning can be a lot. Lean into places where people can help.
Cuddle up with your closet friends, chosen family, and family and watch your favorite movies. Our work requires a lot of talking; it’s okay to spend time with our loved ones while also checking out together a wee bit.
Let the grief flow through you, dear one! It comes out whether we allow it to or not, so why not grab your tissues and let it flow through you?
You can listen to the podcast episode here.
xxoxoxox,
